In Quiet Desperation – Marilyn & Fred Matis, Ty Mansfield – 5 Stars

In Quiet Desperation – Marilyn & Fred Matis, Ty Mansfield – 5 Stars

Title: In Quiet Desperation: Understanding the Challenges of Same Gender Attraction

Author: Marilyn & Fred Matis, Ty Mansfield

Publisher: Deseret Book

Year: Softcover 2004

Rating:   5 STARS

 

Price and Purchasing Options: This book is readily available at any Deseret Book, which is also the publisher.  It is also available at Amazon, and at either location you will pay full retail price of $17.99 – so if you have Amazon Prime, that is the way to go.  Either way you can’t go wrong.  This did get some decent distribution, so I see it every once in a while at a second hand option like Deseret Industries for a few dollars or on eBay (here). 

Review:  This book is one of the most important books in my library!  And I make no hesitation in recommending it to every member of the church.  Let me first give you some background on the two parts within this book and then explain why I believe it is so critical to the members of the church.

The first part of the book is written by Fred and Marilyn Matis, who recounts the experience they had surrounding the suicide of their son who was challenged with Same Gender Attraction.  As a result of his feelings for rejections, personal spirituals challenges, and a lack of social and culture support in the church, he ended up committing suicide on the steps of his LDS Stake Center.

This is a devastating story, and one that shows the significant repercussions of this challenge and the way society both within and outside of the church responds to it.  In my critical view this first part of the book is sad, and written in a way that you can hear the Matis’ anger, disappointment, and strong resentment.  This creates some animosity with the reader – and it is not my favorite part of the book.  With that said, once you get past this section and into the second part, you realize very quickly that the Matis story, as raw as it is, sets a tone that is necessary to fully appreciate the challenge, the impact it has on the lives of those around them, and then the impact of the second part contributed by Mansfield.  This first part is not a transformative part of the book, but it is a necessary one.

The second part of the book is a first hand account written by Ty Mansfield, who openly is challenged at this time with Same Gender Attraction; and this is personally transformative.  He recounts his attraction, and tastefully relays his experience with relationship and personal challenges.  He has an open dialogue with the reader regarding his testimony, the development of his understanding of the atonement, and an in depth discussion  (scripturally based) of the power of weakness and grace.

There are no better words to describe this section than his own words – and so it is highly recommended that you immediately obtain a copy of this and read it. 

Now there are those out there who do not really care about the topic this book is about (same gender attraction in the LDS community).  It doesn’t matter, the power of this book goes beyond understanding same gender attraction.  As I said, there are two things that you will develop out of this book that is needed in each of our lives.

First, everyone who reads this book will gain a greater understanding of Same Gender Attraction, particularly within the church, the gospel, and the atonement.  They will begin to understand the need to compassion in their lives towards every living being, and especially those who are of the household of faith – regardless of what their weakness or challenges its but especially if it is same gender attraction.

Second, and most importantly, they will gain an understanding of the Atonement that is rarely displayed, written of, or talked about so openly in the church.  Within the LDS community there is a plethora of doctrinal discussions, writing, and excerpts on the Atonement; but there are few actual and open experiences of application.  And this is going beyond the application of forgiveness for sins, but Mansfield outlines with authenticity the application of the Atonement in the form of Grace – the enabling power of Christ.  He shows the reader his example  and the ability to rely on Christ in his weakness rather than use his weakness as a crutch.  He exemplifies glorying in Christ because of his weakness – and does so in a rich dialogue about his experience with same gender attraction.  In this you don’t just hear the praise of Christ, but the actual struggle – which makes it so real and relatable.

This is a powerful take away, because although this book is about Same Gender Attraction, it is more fully about allowing Christ in our lives, and applying his Grace and Atonement in all those areas of weakness that go “unstrengthen”.  Those areas that we don’t ask for, earn, or deserve, but are just there to be our thorn in the flesh – that no amount of praying is going to take away.  He gives an example to anyone suffering with depression, anxiety, mental illness, and even wayward children and spouses – of ways they can find solace in applying the powerful blood of Christ in their lives, and develop a personal and intimate relationship with Him.

I love books that don’t just teach us a topic, but show us a way to be better – and this does just that.  I fear that because of the subject matter the readership will be much smaller than it should be – but to those who read it, will find a gem that can truly bring them closer to Christ regardless of the struggle they have had placed in their flesh.

I could go on about this book – but I try to keep my reviews short so they might actually be read.  Needless to say at this point – it is a 5 Star book, and a book I don’t hesitate to recommend to anyone.  PLEASE READ!

Suggestions:  I would recommend buying this book as soon as possible, and reading it!  The only secret I will give you is to fight through the first part as quickly as possible, and get to Part Two; when that happens you will scarcely be able to put it down.

I hope you have enjoyed this review, and I encourage your to follow this blog as I update more reviews in the coming days, weeks, months, etc.  Please feel free to also follow my YouTube page – however, I enjoy writing more than being on camera!

Review #9

Tags: 5 Stars, Same Gender Attraction, Atonement, Ty Mansfield, Fred & Marilyn Matis, In Quiet Desperation